Here we go again … read; see what the reading brings up; write.
(oh, and feel free to write straight from your life, or write fiction, poetry, a song. write whatever you want/whatever comes up.)
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ~ C.S. Lewis
You find friends in life in the oddest places…such as a diet assignment for a magazine. And luckily meet them when you’re mature enough to actually know how to be and have them.
Namaste, Ms. C.
Namaste back atcha, Ms. W.
Eileen – you are briefer than I expect you to be. But I always like to read what you have to say.
Giggling was heard in the other room. When I finally went around the corner to see what was happening I had to turn around and walk out, lest I burst into laughter when I needed to put on my stern face. The bathroom, recently cleaned, was now covered in petroleum jelly and baby powder. I looked at the two little girls, who at the age of 3 had already developed a friendship deeper than any I had, and smiled. And then put on my stern face. “Gina, Christine – what happened here?” I said, attempting to have some authority. Giggles erupted even bigger, and Gina grabbed the toilet paper and bolted out of the bathroom, leaving a trail of powder and paper behind her. Christine looked up, shyly smiled and followed. And at that moment, I knew there would be no parting these two girls.
Mmm. Love that. And (in writer babe feedback mode) loved that line about bolting from the door leaving a trail of powder and paper…(could almost hear those giggles). :)
I love that – it is so sweet. My two daughters are close in age, and are (mostly) best friends. So loved finding them conspiring naughtiness when they were young. Different story now they are 6 and 7 yrs old. Love the image you create.
CS Lewis
Chronicles of Narnia
Read as a kid
A gift from my father
Then a gift from me
To my own children
My…own…children
Oh my, I don’t own my children, but I certainly influenced them as they have influenced me. I notice we are affected by others more than I noticed initially. For instance my friend Dawn who is coming to visit today…she has 3 kids. She…the pen stopped. I have nothing to write about Dawn. Why? I haven’t seen her lately. People change so rapidly these days. When hubby & I met we barely knew each other when we decided to co-journey. Now almost 18 years later, we are neither much like what we were then. Changed are sizes, shapes, likes, dislikes, beliefs, morals, values. Perhaps the morals and values are still there? When I look even these have changed. What then strings us together with all these people we call friends? Shared experiences? Commitment to loving? In my early days of healing there was a focus on shared pain. Similar history of abuse or neglect. We told our stories and celebrated how much we suffered. Then in growing beyond that, dropping the story, some friends fell by the wayside. They weren’t ready to leave that world just yet. Me, I keep on walking. But the stories are still falling away, layer after layer. And the most magical thing happens. What emerges is what brings joy. Service. Ineptness unfolds into grace. And friends by my side get to watch my unfolding as I am watching theirs. ‘Tis a beautiful sight to behold. Friendship may be born out of shared experience but ’tis water of witnessing that sustains it.
Kathy – I was reading your post quite fast to start with, but your depth slowed me down. The layers dragged at my memories of healing and moving on too. So glad for your magic and joy. Power to you, lady.
Mmmm delish. Thanks for throwing down Kathy. And for doing’ like you do, as always. Hugs.
Really? Friendship happens that fast? I think that only happened for me as a child. I remember finally connecting with one of the kids at my new school, after moving into the area mid school year. I vividly remember going home with her after school and sitting on the coal bunker in her garden having intense conversations. Her mum introduced me to coffee – I was only six – and I have been an avid coffee addict ever since.
CS Lewis – I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and liked it for a bit … perhaps half the book. By the time we met the lion I wasn’t liking it. I wanted to kill the lion. I’ve never mentioned this before. I came from a broken home at an age where subversive thoughts got you into trouble.
That first friendship didn’t last long – perhaps a year – another girl took my place. I didn’t care as I was in the throes of meeting my next best friend. My mum and her mum liked to drink gin and tonic together and chain smoke (it was the early 1970’s), so we got to hang out together. Luckily we got on straight away. The first day we met, I had a sleepover. They had an extremely vicious cat who decided to sleep by on my feet – I didn’t dare move until the cat left in the morning – nearly wet myself.
CS Lewis – I could never understand why his books were so popular. I tried to read more of The Wardrobe series but just couldn’t stomach it. Horrible preachy books.
Friendships took much longer to forge as I got older. My oldest friendship goes back to when I was six. It was one of the boys in my class. He used to get bullied, but I stuck up for him, although I was also friends with the bully – a strange threesome! We aren’t in touch much nowadays but I know that we can pick up where we left off anytime. That is the measure of a good friendship.
CS Lewis – I feel cleansed of my closet venom – ha ha!!
Friendship is a different thing now I am married and have children. My best friends are my husband and daughters, but there is a secret me that they don’t know who still craves the friendships I had when I was young and single.
Friendships can become fragile with age – they need treating with care.
When I pull these prompts – like I do with the in-person groups – there’s a little something in them that makes me go “yeah, this is a cool; this is something to write about.” But there are times when I actually sit down to write and I look at this thing I pulled and think “what the fuck was I thinking? what’s to write in HERE?”
Which is kinda where I am now. It’s been a busy couple of days and I couldn’t write last Thursday, and then the weekend came and I was off to see the niece in a show and run errands and then back to the work-day week and blahblahblah. (so here’s a meta moment: even though i’ll be releasing these prompts on thursdays, you can write them any old time. and if you look at them and think: what am i supposed to do with THAT?, you can make it up any way that you want to. the point is to just give it a go.)
So … where was I? Oh yes, looking at this prompt and thinking: huh?
Some things that come up?
Early friendships that came from what? Just being in the same place at the same time. Growing up across the street from the Gaydos’ my folks were friends with the parents, so my sis and I became friends with the much older Ann (or was it anne?), and I had my very first crush on her big brother Chuck. (now i know that “much older ann/anne” was probably only 2 or 3 years older, but then, that difference was huge)
There was a period after I we moved from Belvidere to Montgomery where I had no friends. I was in the advanced reading class – which meant the nerds/geeks/dweebs/teacher’s pets or whatever word that was being flung at the time. I remember reading a story about an unhappy giant, and the giant had no friends because he was different and didn’t fit in the chairs in the town and needed bigger bowls for his dinners. I felt like that giant; awkward, new, strange and somehow separate because I was a “better reader” than 90% of my class. I remember Jakob and Sandy and Karen in my group, and there was a sort-of friendship among us, but I think we all wanted to be not-this-kind-of-special, so when it came time to integrate us into the classroom, we avoided each other.
One of my first encounters with someone who would turn out to be one of my best friends for the longest stretch of my life happened during that first year in Montgomery. Standing in the hallway on our way to the lunch room or some school assembly, I saw this cute little girl standing across the hall from me. That was my time of the blue cat’s eye glasses, which I thought were awesome beyond awesome, but I guess they just added to my “other” look. I was either ahead of the fashion curve or behind it; I don’t really know. But this girl looked a little like Suzie Cowsill so I probably was looking at her a little longer than normal, and she wound up sticking her tongue out at me. I was devastated. I took things so hard then. Now that I’m older I know that I have the personality of a puppy; everyone’s a possible friend/playmate, and I never quite understand people who lead with anger/meanness. I mean, yeah, of course I do; I know they’re out there and I know they’re probably unhappy or they’ve got problems that have nothing to do with me, but … I’m rather Pollyanna-ish and I see people who lead with mean or anger or a lack of compassion and I just don’t understand why. It’s so much easier to lead with compassion and friendliness. To wag your inner tail at other playmates and move along when they don’t play. As for the tongue-sticking-out encounter? We both still remember this moment so clearly, and years later my friend used the story to encourage her son to be kind to strangers; you never know, she told him … even thought that person might look like a dork, that person could wind up being one of the best people ever.
Amazing that once I get started on this topic (or any topic), there’s so much to write about. Must keep going on this one another time. To quote Dave Matthews “so much to say so much to say so much to say …”
I confess to all you followers of Deb, Queen of the Writer Babes that I was the brat who stuck my tongue out at Dibs (my affectionate nickname). And throughout his childhood, my son would ask, when I referred to “my friend Debbie” if she was the one I stuck my tongue out at. I replied that she was and that although it turned out fine in the end for us, it was a traumatic event for her and that I so regretted inflicting that pain on someone else. My son took great pride in the fact that he would learn from his mother’s mistakes and would never intentionally hurt another person. Obviously, I was a brat because of my own “stuff”/troubles that I was not dealing with but I am so thankful that I have had many opportunities to apologize, to make up for the harm I inflicted and to right any wrongs I could. Bestest of all is that my tongue-sticking-out victim became my forever-friend; the unique and beautiful Dibs. Dibs, you are a BIG lady now.