It’s been an interesting couple of weeks here at Writer Babe Central. Tomorrow’s the last day at the day-job I’ve had for close to 8 years, and I’m nervous/excited/scared/a little sad … a big mix of emotions all over the place. And, it has been a long time coming … I feel like I’ve been ripping off a band-aid slowly as I prepare for the “new gig” (that of full-time solopreneur), and this last month or so I’ve been feeling even more split than usual.
When I first gave notice in February, told my boss that I intended to leave in early April. He asked me to stick around until after our annual meeting in June so I could get us farther along on a few big projects I’d been working on. I agreed, with the stipulation that I could take all the vacation time I’d accrued to work on my biz a day or two/week for the duration. Stuck between a rock and a hard place methinks, he agreed.
And while it was not my original plan, it wound up being really good for me. Extra time to work on gearing up with the biz; extra time to work on these projects at the “day-job” that I really did feel invested in; extra time with someone else paying my health insurance (and into my 4o1K …); extra time to prepare my colleagues a bit better with “how in the hell do I do this thing” lists. But I also had this nagging feeling that I was not giving enough time/energy/attention to/at the day-job to get stuff done and fully complete there, and also not enough time/energy/attention to/at the home office to feel fully prepared for the lift-off. It was makin’ me a little nutty.
Now, a little side-bar: All this time, I have been participating in the fab Melinda Hunt’s Personal Yoga Practice beta program (she’s offering an expanded version and, i’m in; you wanna join? find out more here, it’s awesome …). A week or so ago she talked about resting into a yoga pose but not pushing it; choosing not to stay in a pose that felt uncomfortable. (hello? metaphor alert!)
With that, I experienced a relaxing. I have been pushing at the edges as I try to fit everything in, but with this statement from Mel, I experienced a real relaxing. A sort of permission slip from the Universe to just do what I could do.
The home office might not be done on the 16th as I wanted. The folks from the office may call me a week out because I didn’t explain a process just-right. There might still be a pile of files to sort through, and I might not have my new desk picked out and set up. But it will come. Because I’m doing the stuff. And I don’t have to push the pose or the to-do list. I’ll do what I can do every day. Yoga can be on the mat, in my journal or at the desk if I really push the metaphor. And I will. Cause that’s what works today.
What works for YOU today?
How ’bout a throw-down? How ’bout this one?