I’ve been seeing lots of “New Year’s Resolution” stuff on social media and the interwebs lately. No big surprise during the last weeks of the year. But once again, I find myself grumbling at the wave of (what i think is) unrealistic goal setting and expectations, wrapped in cloaks of personal growth.
It’s not that I’m against reflection, planning, and intention setting; I’m all for them. Absolutely. But resolutions? I hate ’em.
Why? Statistics prove that they rarely work. That’s because we’re often looking for miracles and quick fixes to situations that we’ve created over years of habit, all-or-nothing thinking, and a belief that one day we might just “get there” … to a longed for end-goal that is unchanging.
- Get organized
- Lose weight/get fit
- Improve my financial literacy/security
- Expand my business
- Create an amazing relationship (or improve the one i’m in)
- Travel more
Any of those static? unchanging? completely under your control?
Because all those things are fluid; processes.
Yet so many look at the turning of the new year and think: Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I get a clean slate. Tomorrow I’ll do what I have yet to do.
Tomorrow is magic.
It’s not. You know that. Even if you’ve made a resolution, you’ve been through enough New Years to know that January 1st is just another day … as today is just another day, and the way that yesterday and the day before that and the day before that were just other days.
Our lives are a collection of days. And it’s only by presence, and then choosing and course correcting as we go, that we make any changes in our lives.
Making changes requires that we connect with our inner wisdom/higher self. We have to listen deeply, see beyond our daily kvetching to examine themes, needs, and challenges.
It requires self revelation. Practicing stillness, compassion, and gratitude.
It can’t be forced. It can’t be magically poofed into being because the clock strikes midnight on December 31st.
Change happens bit by bit. Day by day. Step by step.
Try this at home: If you want to make a change this year: today – or tonight, or tomorrow or the next day (or the next or the next) – take a few minutes and write:
- What am I grateful for?
- What am I proud/glad of from the past year?
- What do I want to create (today? tomorrow? in the next few days / weeks / month / year?) (and that can be a physical creation, or simply a feeling or situation.)
- What do I want to release?
Then, drop in on those same questions in a week.
And the week after that.
And the week after that.
Next year at this time, you may see that you don’t need to resolve anything. You’ve written yourself (bit by bit) into more of the life you want.
(well, maybe that is a little bit magic…)
Wishing you all the best today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that again.