Women often tell me they don’t start writing because they’re afraid of what they’ll uncover when they do.
If they see the truth in their own handwriting, they might have to stop kvetching about the job and make a change.
Maybe they’ll have to leave the relationship, quit drinking, clean up the wreckage of an old friendship. Maybe they’ll remember painful things they’ve been keeping underground for so long they’ve almost forgotten that they were buried.
But here’s the thing: just because something is on the page doesn’t mean you have to act on it right away. You don’t have to do a damn thing with it at all if you don’t want to.
Because you’ve just admitted something to yourself. You’ve remembered something you’ve been hiding from. It might be scary. It might be hard to get used to. But believe me, it’s GOOD. Because you can work with the truth.
If you’ve been keeping this stuff from yourself for a while, you might have to get used to it. You can write about why it scared you to let this truth surface. Write about what you’ve made up about that this realization could mean. Do you think you have to throw off everything in your life now that you know this new truth?
Hell no, girlene!
Change takes time. You don’t have have a realization and then: “ta-da!” :: change! It unfolds; the steps reveal themselves. And just because you figured something out on the page doesn’t mean it has to get on your to-do list. right. Now.
Keep writing through it though it. The answer(s) will come in time if you stay with it. You’ll take a step, reassess, adjust, course correct.
There’s no rush. Start writing. Keep writing. Write through it.
Want to find out ways that I can help you with this? You can explore more here.
If you compare your life to others as a way to feel better, or to force a “reality check”, you’re (in essence) attempting to convince yourself that your feelings don’t matter. (Don’t do that.)
Things do NOT happen for a reason. Things happen, and we try to make meaning out of them. But there is absolutely no cosmic plan behind the difficult things that happen to us.
Isn’t it time to stop putting ourselves down for whatever perceived imperfections we have? We’re healthy and alive. What if that was enough?
Are writing rituals helpful? Sure. Sometimes. Unless they’re not. Confused? Y’see, the bottom line is this: if rituals help you write, use them. If not, experimenting might be fun. But don’t force it.
Imagine how great we’d all feel and what could we accomplish if we weren’t obsessed with the number on the scale, our salary, our title, and the way we look in that photo our friend just posted on Facebook.
We all learn by doing, and adjust as we go. And when it comes to rediscovering yourself, making changes, and making meaning in your life, it's a process. And you have to get moving.
Just because something is on the page doesn’t mean you have to act on it right away. You don’t have to do a damn thing with it at all if you don’t want to. But it’s still good. Cause you can work with the truth.
I’ll bet you’ve heard Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day – or at least the iconic final line: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” and felt a longing to live that way. But are you …?
I realized that the only way the women in my workshops might stop apologizing, minimizing, and doubting their stories, experiences, and worth was to hold a mirror up to it.
The devil is the voice in your head that whispers: Yeah, you know you have to quit smoking, drinking (or some other behavior that enslaves your spirit …)… and you will … of course you will. But, the devil will say: not today.
Writing practice is a secret sauce – the perfect addition to any examined life. It’s kind of like soy sauce at a Chinese food restaurant; it enhances every bit of deliciousness it touches. Writing’s the same.
Just because The Artist’s Way is super-popular and a lot of people swear by it, those who don’t “get it” or resonate with the vibe should NOT whip themselves over it.
